I expected to be tarred & feathered by the Pazzle-lovers out there, but the great majority of commenters were very positive. It's too bad, really... I wanted to like the Pazzle. I'm sure they're a lovely company. It just didn't work out. It's not me, it's you. I just can't accept you for who you really are. I'm sorry.
Now then... I think (pending the ability to return this beast), I'm gonna get the Cricut Expression, and load the Sure Cuts A Lot software on my computer, and have the best of both worlds. And before the Screaming Meanies from Cricut arrive, yes, I know, the SCAL isn't sanctioned and will "void my warranty" - a chance I'm willing to take.
I'll let you know how it works out... thanks for all the positive comments!